I’m not saying I had a hard life, cuz when I compare myself to others who’ve had it seemingly far worse than me, I feel embarrassed that I would even feel a little sorry for me.
But I also know that everybody’s story is different.
Unique to them.
And what’s hard for you might not be hard for someone else, and what’s hard for someone else, might not be hard for you.
So what’s hard, is relative to you.
So now we know that everyone has highs and lows, regardless of where they are and where they come from, it’s just the byproduct of being human.
And so based on my perspective as a human, and what I’ve been through so far, it does feel like my life has been really hard.
And it started from the start when my parents broke my heart.
The back and forth shit.
The constant fights.
The fear.
The control when my Monster father made me feel like I wasn’t whole.
So I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t be yourself.
To always feel painfully unsatisfied with your life and to not know why, or how to get out.
I know what it’s like to be addicted….
Inflicted.
Annihilated.
And put in prison.
I know what it’s like to feel like you have no control and to watch yourself slip down your slippery slope.
I know what it’s like to be so broke the food bank is your grocery store and I know what it’s like to always be trying to make more.
To get ahead, but you can’t because things are just so damn expensive.
And I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t fit in.
To be picked on at school and not have any friends.
And I know what it’s like to always feel like your feelings are too much for both you and everyone else, so you keep them to yourself.
And I know what’s it like to feel like you’re gonna self-destruct, cuz you can’t let your self out.
I know what it’s like to feel like you’re always losing in love…
And to feel overpowered by men who want more from you, when you don’t want them. And I know what it’s like to be chased by guys in cars, so you have to run for your life so they don’t catch you, and do whatever they’re wanna do.
And I know what it’s like to feel like you have nothing to live for, to feel like you’re out of control.
To have nowhere to go to for help.
I know what it’s like to feel like you’re meant for so much more, but, you can’t get to it cuz you can’t find the door.
And I know what it’s like to be so unsure of who you are and what you want, so I know what it’s like to be stuck doing what everyone else does, and never having fun.
And I know what it’s like to live with the grief of losing somebody you loved so deeply….
I know what it’s like to grieve the loss of losing a part of your body.
I know it like to feel powerless in health, wealth and love.
To you wanna kill yourself, but to not be able to follow through, for fear of what happens if you do.
So I know what it’s like to fight for your life.
To be poisoned, cut, and burned 26 times.
To be so sick you feel like you’re not gonna make it.
I know it’s like to be straight and gay, and to not want to be labelled a specific way.
I know what it’s like to be the victim of other people’s low frequencies.
I know it’s like to be so empathic it practically killed me.
So I know it is like to feel trapped in chronic pain.
And I know what it feels like, to feel like it’s always gonna be that way.
And I know for sure that things can’t get worse, but that’s the beauty of momentum, and the laws of the universe.
It brings to you a reflection of how you feel about yourself.
And now after everything I’ve been through, I know how to adapt to change.
I know that my feelings affect everything.
I know how to raise my frequency, and be the change I wanna see.
And now I know what it’s like to feel good, in spite of my history.
So the good news is, things do get better if you do the work to change.
Sure, it won’t be easy.
And sometimes we have to learn really hard lessons before we can get concrete evidence, that things are better than they used to be.
But pay attention to the signs, because you’re never alone, and Spirit loves you more than you know.
So, I just wanna say…
If you’re in the eye of a storm hold, on my friend, for this too shall pass.
It always does.
And be sure to be sure to count your blessings, and be grateful for what you do have, and how far you come, and have faith and trust that everything is always working out for your highest and best.
And so it is.
I love you.
