I wanna make out.
All the time…
I wanna have phone sex and airport sex and sex in the kitchen and I want us to kiss like we can’t get enough of each others spit.
But…I’ll be honest, I’m desperately afraid of all of this.
I’m afraid to open myself up, and I’m afraid to fall in love…
But not for all the reasons most people are afraid to fall.
For me,
I’m afraid to love like I’ve been dreaming of for fear that I’ll lose my health again, and then once again, I’ll be abandoned.
So for me, my daydreams of being in love keep me safe because there, love doesn’t leave, and I am perfectly healthy.
But I’ll be honest….
Sometimes I wonder if my fear of love is the very thing that will tear me apart, more than love itself.
What do you think my silent friend?
Am I my Monster again?
Or are my fears valid?
